Driving + Chennai = Angry THUD!!
“Excuse me…you look really familiar…do I know you from somewhere? **shakes hand** Maybe we crossed each other on the road this morning?”
I spend a lot of time on the road nowadays. You might be thinking that I’m on some kind of expedition across the nation… errr…. no…. it’s just the drive to work. It takes me about an hour or so in the morning and around an hour and a half in the evening. Driving from home to office covers a 20 km stretch through the heart of this infrastructural nightmare of a city. Don’t get me wrong. I love Chennai (I’ve always like the name Madras soooo much better). This is my city. I love the warmth of the people (wtf??!! Ok ok… warmth of some of the ppl), the language (say what!) and there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be! But I gotta be honest, the sights that I see - phew! I can write a book on this stuff. But baby steps for now! Blog first, novel later (check out www.nanowrimo.org).
There are a few things that irk me when I’m on the road: I hate people who drive cars that have their sideview mirrors folded. Fine! If you think you’re that good on the road, and don’t need sideview mirrors, fine! But then don’t drift to the side I’m on and push me into the wall/median/traffic!! No sir!! Don’t do that!! That always gets me hopping mad to the point where I have to honk until I can’t hear my music anymore (ah yes, music…. the saving grace)….
When I’m not being sideswiped, I have to keep an eye out for men who drive motorbikes and have their wife and children hanging on for dear life at the back (once, I saw a mom fall asleep holding a baby boy on a bike - I kept horning till she woke up!) As if this wasn’t enough, there are buses to be dealt with. Have you ever seen a bus on the road? It doesn’t matter if it’s the public transport, a college bus or private transport – these buses follow the simple rule: “I’m bigger than you are, so get the hell outta my way! The only thing that these monsters are traffic signals. Did I say…..
Traffic signals??!! Aaarrrrggghhhh!! I hate them – the city is full of them and if you get caught at one, it’ll be a good couple of minutes before you’ll be moving again. Of course, the people of this city have found a solution to that problem as well - just don’t stop at red lights (one of these days, I know I’m gonna witness something terrible).
So I’ve finally make it to a signal where people actually stop at red lights. I start thinking to myself that this is the opportune time to stretch, get a drink of water, change the cd or do something worthwhile with my time. And what happens then? Someone in or on a vehicle around me will get the unrelenting need to…. spit!! On the road!! Sometimes its just spit (that’s right, I said “just spit”), sometimes its noses being blown, sometimes it’s the residue of whatever they’re chewing. You find this gross? Are you pulling back from the screen, scowling your face or clasping your hands? Wait till you hear this!! Some times, I’ve seen a hanging trail of spit/snot/other gross shit leading to the mouth/nose. How do they deal with it? Tissues? Handkerchiefs? Shirt sleeves? No sir! They use their hands to wipe it off. That, my dear friends, is just repulsi...
Damn!! Now I know where I’ve seen you!!
I spend a lot of time on the road nowadays. You might be thinking that I’m on some kind of expedition across the nation… errr…. no…. it’s just the drive to work. It takes me about an hour or so in the morning and around an hour and a half in the evening. Driving from home to office covers a 20 km stretch through the heart of this infrastructural nightmare of a city. Don’t get me wrong. I love Chennai (I’ve always like the name Madras soooo much better). This is my city. I love the warmth of the people (wtf??!! Ok ok… warmth of some of the ppl), the language (say what!) and there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be! But I gotta be honest, the sights that I see - phew! I can write a book on this stuff. But baby steps for now! Blog first, novel later (check out www.nanowrimo.org).
There are a few things that irk me when I’m on the road: I hate people who drive cars that have their sideview mirrors folded. Fine! If you think you’re that good on the road, and don’t need sideview mirrors, fine! But then don’t drift to the side I’m on and push me into the wall/median/traffic!! No sir!! Don’t do that!! That always gets me hopping mad to the point where I have to honk until I can’t hear my music anymore (ah yes, music…. the saving grace)….
When I’m not being sideswiped, I have to keep an eye out for men who drive motorbikes and have their wife and children hanging on for dear life at the back (once, I saw a mom fall asleep holding a baby boy on a bike - I kept horning till she woke up!) As if this wasn’t enough, there are buses to be dealt with. Have you ever seen a bus on the road? It doesn’t matter if it’s the public transport, a college bus or private transport – these buses follow the simple rule: “I’m bigger than you are, so get the hell outta my way! The only thing that these monsters are traffic signals. Did I say…..
Traffic signals??!! Aaarrrrggghhhh!! I hate them – the city is full of them and if you get caught at one, it’ll be a good couple of minutes before you’ll be moving again. Of course, the people of this city have found a solution to that problem as well - just don’t stop at red lights (one of these days, I know I’m gonna witness something terrible).
So I’ve finally make it to a signal where people actually stop at red lights. I start thinking to myself that this is the opportune time to stretch, get a drink of water, change the cd or do something worthwhile with my time. And what happens then? Someone in or on a vehicle around me will get the unrelenting need to…. spit!! On the road!! Sometimes its just spit (that’s right, I said “just spit”), sometimes its noses being blown, sometimes it’s the residue of whatever they’re chewing. You find this gross? Are you pulling back from the screen, scowling your face or clasping your hands? Wait till you hear this!! Some times, I’ve seen a hanging trail of spit/snot/other gross shit leading to the mouth/nose. How do they deal with it? Tissues? Handkerchiefs? Shirt sleeves? No sir! They use their hands to wipe it off. That, my dear friends, is just repulsi...
Damn!! Now I know where I’ve seen you!!
posted by Sandeep at 12:27 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for writing this.
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